Taking a break from Instagram

I've always treaded lightly when it comes to social media.  I had a Facebook account for a short time but never used it and ended up permanently deleting my account.  I have never missed it!  However, I do have two Instagram accounts; an account where I follow friends and family and they follow me and a private account with one follower, my good friend Raygon, where I post regularly as a way of journaling our family life.  Those pictures are printed into a Chatbook series that we fan through often to reflect on good times and memories.

I've tried to be careful with my usage of Instagram, never checking it too many times in a day or letting it become an addition.  I can't say I was perfect at those things, but I tried!  It is fun to check in on my family to see what's new with them or to see what new adventures my friends were having.  But over time it began to wear on me.  To put it boldly, it left me feeling fat and boring!  Women, even friends and family, were posting just the "right" picture- perfect smile, hair in place, tummy in and face pulled forward so no double chin is visible.  And September must have been the month to be at Disneyland, because oh my!  It seemed like everyone was there!  Everyone but me, that is.

I was beginning to feel like everyone had it better- more time to travel, exercise, hang with friends, go on exciting dates with her husband, be organized, make great meals and treats for their family, etc.  Within minutes of me having this realization I decided I needed to take a hiatus from Instagram and before I knew it the app was gone!

That happened on September 22nd.  I have never decided how long this hiatus would last.  I have considered never going back but I do enjoy the connection with my family.  It could last another week or month or longer.  When I feel like I am ready to face the big bad world of social media, I'll go back.

During this time I've had some realizations that have helped me change how I will handle Instagram when I go back:

• Naturally, people really only post their highlights.  No one wants to share their rock bottom moments with the world, of course.  But I need to take the things that are shared at face value.  Out of thirty pictures taken within a 15 second timeframe, a person is going to chose the very best photo out of the bunch.  I don't blame them, but I have to remember that.

• I am careful who I follow or who follows me, but I am going to reduce it even more.  I think I currently follow two "influencers".  They're actually pretty fun to watch but they are two of the people doing so many of the fun things so often that they'll have to go bye bye.  I am going to unfollow anyone I don't feel makes me life better after seeing their posts.  And I will relinquish their permission to follow me as well.  

• I want to show more of my real life.  No more framing pictures in a way that hides the pile of dirty clothes or dishes.  No more hiding my no makeup face or messy haired kids.  It'll just be us being us. 

• I want to use my account as a platform to share more of my beliefs and my testimony.  I want others to feel uplifted after seeing something I've shared.

• I am who I am and I have to be comfortable with that.  I'm just not the mom who leaves my kids on a regular basis to take exotic vacations alone with my husband or leave for a weekend long girls trip to some fun destination.  I'm not that mom who has a totally fit body and eats salad for every meal.  I don't wear amazing outfits every day.  I'm just me.  I'm overly involved in my kids' lives, I exercise but always in moderation, I eat good but allow myself to enjoy treats, I don't have the best wardrobe but I always dress modestly.  And honestly, those are the things that matter.

Elder Stevenson's talk in General Conference was just perfect for my situation.  He talked about reality vs. what is portrayed on social media.  I loved these words from his talk:

"Many (if not most) of the pictures posted on social media tend to portray life at its very best—often unrealistically. We have all seen beautiful images of home decor, wonderful vacation spots, smiling selfies, elaborate food preparation, and seemingly unattainable body images.

Here, for example, is an image that you might see on someone’s social media account. However, it doesn’t quite capture the full picture of what is actually going on in real life.

Comparing our own seemingly average existence with others’ well-edited, perfectly crafted lives as represented on social media may leave us with feelings of discouragement, envy, and even failure...

With so many appropriate and inspired uses of technology, let us use it to teach, inspire, and lift ourselves and to encourage others to become their finest—rather than to portray our idealized virtual selves. Let us also teach and demonstrate the righteous use of technology to the rising generation and warn against the associated hazards and destructive use of it. Viewing social media through the lens of the gospel can prevent it from becoming a spiritual eclipse in our lives."

He said it perfectly!  And if you want more, watch his address to the women at BYU Women's Conference.

It' s been a breath of fresh air to take the comparison trap out of my life.  I have been better focused on things that matter and overall felt better about myself.  When I do go back I will be armed with new knowledge and ready to try to "teach, inspire, and lift ourselves and to encourage others to become their finest."

At least that is my hope.