when things are hard

These last few weeks have been some of the most trying I've ever experienced.  I don't know how to explain it other than I feel like I'm being followed by a dark cloud.  Bad news comes and worse news follows.  I've spent many hours laying in my bed with the door shut, trying to close off the world.  I've spent much time on my knees asking my Heavenly Father to lighten my load and help me feel peace.

I won't write about the trials I am facing because my kids read this :)  But I will write some of the things I have done and currently do to find peace.

Turn to the scriptures-  The scriptures have always been a source of comfort and the first place I go when I need peace.  I've read a few scriptures over the past few weeks that have helped, but the one I read on Friday was the most helpful.

1 Nephi 8:24- "And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree."

Mentally, I broke it down like this:  "And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward (so many are going through difficult trials.  I am not alone), and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron (they turned to the Savior for comfort and direction); and they did press forward through the mist of darkness (when you feel that cloud of darkness, keep going!), clinging to the rod of iron  (cling, hold on for dear life, don't let go even when you feel like you are losing your grip), even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.  (there is light at the end of the tunnel.  These hardships will not last forever.  You cannot get to the fruit without getting through the darkness)"

Pay close attention to that glimmer of light deep down inside-  It's easy to feel forgotten by Heavenly Father when your troubles seem to have taken over.  It's dark and lonely and feels like you will never come out of that season.  Remember, He will never leave you!  Even in your darkest hour, He is there.  Sometimes you have to dig deep to really focus to get any peace at all, but if you do that, you will find a little morsel of comfort.  Hold on to that and remind yourself of it each time you feel yourself backsliding into a  comfortless place.

Escape- In the spirit of full disclosure, I have spent more time watching Netflix these last two weeks than ever before.  I'm not a movie watcher normally, but I have found that tuning out of life and into a show or movie helps me forget my troubles for a little bit.  Although I feel like it's okay to escape, I do not feel like it's good to stay there for long!  I usually don't finish a whole movie in one sitting.  Take a little time to check out then pick yourself up, refocus and get going!

Attend the Temple-  No other place on earth will give you more peace, so go there!  Last week I wanted to attend the Temple so badly but it felt nearly impossible to get there.  Since I couldn't manage to get into the doors of the temple, I loaded up my girls and we spent time on the temple grounds.  It's amazing, all you have to do it be within the vicinity of the temple and suddenly your cares wash away and you feel His supreme love for you.

Acknowledge the fact that you have challenges-  I know people have trials that are far worse than the ones I have.  With all that is going on, my family has their health and no one has died, we have a home, my husband remains strong and my rock, the church is still the center of our lives and in the end, everything will be okay.  BUT, I am not of the mindset that just because someone is struggling worse than you are, that your trials aren't hard.  This is the place where Heavenly Father has put you and what he has asked you to experience.  You are going to have to stretch and it's probably going to hurt- so don't feel like you are doing something wrong because you are struggling.  

Be happy-  Friday was very hard.  I wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits!  It was hard to hide my emotions from my kids, it was hard to be patient with them, heck, it was hard to even listen to them as they rambled on like they usually do.  But, I did my best to set that aside and be a mom.  It was hard but I had to set my troubles aside and tune into my kids but I am thankful that I did.  This is not their cross to bear and they don't deserve to worry so it's important for me to put a smile on and keep going.

Runaway-  Sometimes you just have to jump in the car and get the heck out of there!  Change up your scenery and leave your troubles at home (because unfortunately, they will still be there when you get back!).  Even better than a ride in the car, get away-away!  I need to escape life for a minute so I'm packing up my kids and heading to California this week.  I spent almost two weeks in the Valley over Christmas in order to get away from work.  This summer I ran away to Colorado to get away.  I know this isn't practical for everyone but if you can, do it!  It's a sort of reset for life.