Our Greatest Tools

One of my favorite memories created in the last few weeks was holding Marlene's hands. I don't think I will ever forget how they felt were or how soft they were. So many times all she wanted was someone to hold her hand.

One memory in particular sticks out in my mind. Her good friend, Pat Despain had come from Heber to see her. She wasn't able to stay as long as she would have liked, but they had a good visit. When Pat was done Jared walked her to the door and I went to sit by Marlene when I saw she had tears gently rolling down her face. I grabbed some tissues and wiped her tears. Marlene asked me to sit with her and hold her hand. I'm not sure how long I was there but I know it was for a while. I remember her telling me how much she loved me, as she always did, but even more so in the last few weeks. I told her that I loved her so very much as well. Her reply surprised me. She said, "sometimes I don't think I deserve it." I said, "no, no, no. Don't say that." I can't remember what I said after that but I am sure I tried to reassure her that she was worthy of it. How could she not be?

Another memory happened after we had taken her to the Hospice House. It was the Sunday before she died. She was pretty much gone. It was me, Jared and his older Burt and maybe even his sister, Yvette in the room. I was sitting on Marlene's bed holding her hands in mine when I decided to speak up and talk to her, thinking there was a chance she would hear me.

I said, "Marlene, think of all the things you have done with your hands. All of the roses bushes you have planted, all of the babies you have held, every meal you have made, every tear you have wiped, every kind note you have written to a friend, every phone number you have dialed to call and check on a friend or to check on us, every present you have wrapped." Then Burt and Jared chimed in with some of their memories like playing catch and things such as that. I wish I could remember the whole list. I then told her they had been her greatest tools and that they had served their purpose. I remember holding them to my face and kissing them.

It got me thinking about what I am doing with my hands. Who am I serving? What do they get done through out the day? Do they ever get to do anything fun? Do I take care of them as if they were my greatest tools?

Just another life lesson I hope will make me a better person and that I never forget.