This is a letter written to the family from a Hospice of the Valley Massage Therapist. (I hope that the family doesn't mind me sharing this.)
A Real Christmas Gift
Deb Bursell
December 22, 2008
I gave her a massage today. She is very sick from ovarian cancer and actually at the very end of her fight. The sun has set so the room is dark except for a small dim light that is on, the music is still playing soft and soothing. I look at her in her bed and notice how peaceful she looks even with those sunken dark eyes and bald head. I start to put my things in my bag when she speaks up, "Merry Christmas to you" Awkwardly I say "Merry Christmas to you, " I reach out and touch her hairless head. I admit I'm at a loss of what to say. "Well as merry as it can be" She starts to cry as she says. "I just want to experience Christmas one more time, I want just once more to celebrate the birth of the Christ Child, because of His birth I will be able to experience the resurrection." I lost my breath with those words and nearly fell to my knees. I waited for a minute as I tried to grasp the power of her words. It was a real Christmas gift. All I could say in reply was Thank you.
And we did get to experience Christmas with her one more time. Christmas was her favorite holiday and her favorite time of year. She put so much time and energy into it. You should have seen how she wrapped. Oh, my goodness! I told her so many times that people would pay her a lot of money if she would wrap their presents. She wrapped everything, no matter the size, teeny tiny or huge! I wish I had a picture to prove it. Every year her living room was filled with gifts. And by filled, I mean FILLED!
She was very into traditions. She was that way all year long, but especially at Christmastime. On Christmas Eve we would light the driveway with luminarias, she called it Santa's Runway. On Christmas Day we had the same meal every year; ham and turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, fruit salad, shrimp cocktail, brocolli and homemade cheese sauce, homemade stuffing and more.
She loved watching the kids get excited and open their gifts. Every single gift was bought with purpose and meaning. She knew each of her kids and grand kids so well and always made sure they got gifts that were just right for them, whether it was jewelry, art sets, books or whatever.
But that last Christmas morning I will never forget. I will never forget walking in the door and seeing her sitting up on the couch, waiting for the grand kids. She looked bright, I don't know how else to explain it. She had a glow about her. It was her day! She raised her head to look at me and said "Merry Christmas!" I said the same and gave her a hug. It was the beginning of a great day.
(It's strange but she made that face a lot in her last few weeks. Maybe I never noticed it before.)
Her sister, Kathi, bought her a new outfit for Christmas. It was a red velour outfit. It was bright and just right for Christmas. I couldn't get over how good it made her look and I made sure she knew it. A day or two after her death I was cleaning her room and while making the bed I saw the red outfit. None of her other clothes affected me when I saw them, but when I saw that red outfit it truly made me miss her. Maybe because it symbolized the end of something so wonderful; Christmas with Marlene.
I will be forever grateful that we were blessed to have that last Christmas with her. There was so much joy and love that day. I know it will never be the same, but thanks to her we have wonderful traditions to carry on with our families.
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