Party

I've been feeling like my life has been one big whirlwind since Colton's birth.  I rarely have time for anything, let alone fun.  Yesterday as I sat in my kitchen eating lunch I thought about all of the work that needed to be done.  I thought about the tasks I would give my girls when they got home from school and it felt daunting.  It's been a while since we did anything spontaneous so I decided if there wasn't any free time for fun then I would schedule it.  I tried to think of something simple that my girls would enjoy and then decided I would make a party of it.  I quickly threw together an invitation, one for Addie and one Kimber and nicely put them on their pillows.   This picture is of Kimber's invitation.  Sometimes she needs a little (or a lot of extra coaxing) so I had to add the part about working hard and not complaining to hers.

When it was time to pick up the girls from school I simply said, "if it was me I would go straight to my room when I get home and make my bed."

When we got home Addie immediately went to her room and found her invitation.  She was so excited!  Kimber on the other hand had a lot of questions for me.  "Where is the party going to be?  Why are we having one?"  I told her she didn't have to come but we would be having fun with or without her.  Eventually she complied and by 3:00 we all had our work done (including myself who had loads of office work).  We went to Sonic for drinks where I had to try a Dirty Diet Coke.  I hear about them from everyone and finally gave in.  I'm not a soda drinker but it was a fun little treat.

When we got home we pulled out a few games and sprawled them out on the floor along with the Halloween candy.

We played a game chosen by everyone while I let the girls eat all the candy they wanted.  They were probably wondering where their real mom went since the candy had been in hiding for a few days.

I learned a great lesson yesterday.  I am at a point in my life where my schedule is made by my children, especially a newborn, so if I want to incorporate something extra in it, I just have to make it my priority, whatever it might be.

It all paid off when Addie came to me in the kitchen before bed and said "I loved today.  It was so fun."  I asked what was so fun and she said "everything.  I loved the party"

Today

Today I...

Am thinking, praying and worried about motherhood and it's challenges. 

Thankful to be a mother. Even though it comes with challenges. 

Happy that I find joy in my children. 

Am going to give each of my children 10 minutes of uninterrupted attention one at a time. Colton's will be spent taking some overdue newborn pictures. 

Should get working on thank you cards. 

Today

Today I...

Am thinking about my sister in law Nikki who got some surprising yet exciting news while in the ER last night. Went in for a kidney infection and found out she is pregnant!

Am praying for my brother again. He told me last night he is starting to feel better. I am praying it continues and he can get back to normal soon.  

Am worried about nothing!  Yay!

Am happy that I can do this- 

Am thankful for my friend Lyndsey who showed up unexpectedly at 4:15 yesterday with dinner. And also for my sweet friend, Raygon, who sent a box stuffed with clothes and shoes for our little guy. 

Am going to serve someone. 

Should wash my hair. Then again, a bun sounds like the perfect remedy for that. 

Today

Today I am...

Thinking about- my sister Bethany.  I love her.

Praying for- my brother, Travis, that the shots he got in his back will give him some relief.  Also for his wife, Allie, and son, Cooper that they can get their husband and dad back soon.

Worried about- Addie's foot.  She dislocated her toe while doing a cartwheel on Saturday.  It's all bruised and swollen, although not broken.  It's hurting her and I'm hoping she does okay at school.

Happy- that my nursing bras arrived yesterday.  It's nice to have a bra that fits...and is not a sleep bra.

Thankful- that Melanie Neff came by yesterday.  She is the most flamboyant person I have ever met.  She brought me a gift...wipes....lots and lots of wipes...and a Milka bar.  Her positive energy is still radiating in my house.

Going to- hold Colton as much as I can.  And sneak in episode 2/season 4 of Downton Abbey.

Should- not be blogging but getting dressed instead.

September 21st

I woke up on Saturday morning at 5:15 to a small gush.  I knew it wasn't my bag of waters but it felt like something so I made my way to the bathroom and sure enough, there was bloody show.  I was having contractions 8 minutes apart but laid back down and tried to go back to sleep because I knew I had a long day ahead of me.  As hard as I tried, sleep would not come.  I eventually turned Downton Abbey on and laid in bed watching it on my phone.  Just before 7:00 I decided I should take a shower and get dressed.  My plans to look decent after giving birth to Lucy were completely foiled so I decided I would try again this time.  I showered, got dressed, put on my makeup and breathed through my contractions.

My mom passed by the bathroom around 7:15 and asked how I was.  I replied that today was the day and that I was having pains.  She told me that I needed to let Jared know so he and my girls could start making their way down as well as Heather.  I figured I had time to wait but she cautioned me.  At about 7:30 I texted Heather and apologized that she would have to miss her diving class that day but assured her that for the time being, I was fine.  I think I even used capital letters for the word fine.  She knows me better than that and by 8:00 she was at mom's house.

Just after texting her the first time I called Jared.  No answer.  I called the house.  No answer.  I sent him a text.  Nothing.  I called his phone again.  Still nothing.  I called the house one more time at 7:40.  Finally!

"Hello?"

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Sleeping."

"Well, don't hurry but you might want to get the girls up and start heading down here.  But seriously, this could be a long day, so NO HURRY!"

"Okay, I'll get them up."

And bam!  He had them up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8:10.

(Yes, I took a picture of myself during a contraction!)

I walked and walked and walked and breathed through my contractions.  Eventually I asked my dad for a blessing because I knew what I had in store for me and I was already exhausted.  In the blessing he kept using the word "endure" which scared me because I thought it meant I could be all day long.

I worked through my contractions by counting backwards from 30 but after the blessing I started saying 30 endure...29 endure...28 endure....

Then I decided I needed to endure each second so I changed my counting to endure 30...endure 29...endure 28...endure... and by about 15 the contraction was gone because of the addition of the word endure.

Lucy woke up around 8:30 and I announced to her that we were going to have a baby today!  The look on her face was confusion as I had been telling her all week that we would go home once we had the baby.  She sat by me while I laid on my mom's bed and quietly watched.  I was so glad to have her there.  Aunt Yvette came and picked her up around 9:15.

At about 9:30 I used the bathroom and when I came out Heather and I looked at each other and at the same time both said that we felt it was time to go.  It was all so calm, such a change from Lucy.  I called Jared and told him that we were heading to the hospital.

At about 9:45 we got to the ER (where you have to enter)  and Heather told me that they would not believe me that I was in real labor if I didn't amp it up.  She told me I needed to let her do the talking and act like I needed to go NOW!  I was hurting and it was actual labor but when I labor I try to stay as calm and relaxed as possible so it was likely they would not believe me.

I was so thankful for that advice!  They had me admitted and in triage in about 5 minutes.  I was blessed to have a fantastic nurse, Pam, who took me serious when I said I would be doing it without an epidural.  She told me I was dilated to a 6/7 and just about that time my sister Bethany, whom I had asked to be there, walked in.  I could have cried!  To have my two big sisters there was a gift.  They were calm and did anything I asked.  They fanned me, patted me with cool wash cloths and encouraged me.  When I got to the L&D room the discomfort was at it's peak and all I could think was "this is the last time I am doing this!"  The contractions were right on top of each other and pressing so hard on my ribcage that it was impossible to get comfortable.  I kept asking my sisters when I would get the rush of adrenaline that I so badly needed.  They assured me it would come when I needed it the most.

The Dr. came in and sat on the edge of the bed to check me.  I believe she said I was about an 8/9 and then told me she had a c-section to do then she would be back to check on me.  Her bum didn't even leave the bed when I said I needed to push!  Just a few short pushes later, at 10:39am I was literally yelling "yay!  I am so happy!  yay!"  I was thrilled it was over and he was finally in my arms.  I did have to check to assure myself it was actually a boy.

And just like that I was smitten.  I had always felt love for him but it was an instant burst of more love than I could have ever expected.

I called Jared and told him that he might as well bring the girls with him to the hospital because he was here!  The baby was screaming in the background so there was no doubt in Jared's mind that he was actually in my arms.

I wanted to cry I was so happy.  Bethany sat by me and held my hand and talked to me after it was over.  She was such a comfort.  Heather was amazing the whole time, as always.  She is so calm under that kind of pressure and has a true gift for helping women achieve their goal of a natural birth experience.  

I held him and held him in my arms for as long as I could before I finally requested they weigh him.  My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw the scale, 8lbs 11 ozs!  I had only gained 15 pounds and over half of it was baby?

About 20-25 minutes later my girls and Jared walked in the room.  It was so sweet.  Those are the moments that make it all worth it.  They were instantly smitten by him as well.

After it was all said and done and it was time for Pam to move on to the next patient I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for being so wonderful.  Her response was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard, "you were amazing.  Thank you for letting me be a part of it.  Now, could you come teach the classes?  Because that would make all the difference."  And with a giant hug she was gone.

Throughout my 24 hour stay I was blessed to have amazing nurses.  I appreciated each one of them- a stark contrast from my stay at Chandler Regional Hospital.  In recovery I had Tiffany who was so sweet.  I kept apologizing for the gross aftermath of having a baby.  She reminded me that if she thought it was nasty she wouldn't have that job.  She was calm and made the recovery easy.  On Saturday afternoon I had Myrna who was loud and fun- a breath of fresh air.  Saturday night was Lynda who had worked at a birthing center as a doula and nurse and praised me for doing it naturally and for having a VBAC.  She was awesome and such an encouragement!  Sunday, I had Lynette who was friendly and got me discharged quickly- a fear worthy of a gold medal.  At CRH they were brutal about breastfeeding and diaper changes but these nurses rarely checked the paper they so badly want you to fill out to document your feedings and diaper changes.  They were all so relaxed and put no pressure on me to do anything.  They made my stay a decent one.

Just in case I have to do this one more time here are somethings that made this delivery special and manageable.

Things that helped:

About 10 days before I was due (which is the day he was born) I saw a lady for reflexology in hopes that being aligned would help with my back labor.  It worked WONDERS!  This is the first time my back labor was manageable.  Too bad I didn't know that with my other babies.

Counting from endure 30 down to endure 1.

Trusting my feelings and Jared's that he would not make it.  We had discussed these feelings for months and the night before I left he asked me if I was sure I was okay that there was a chance he would not be there.  Of course, it would have been wonderful if he was but having that impression made it easier.

Taking it easy at my mom's house and enjoyed my last few days with Lucy as my baby.

Not delivering in the middle of the HOT summer!

Surrounding myself with people at my birth who remained calm.

Having a L&D nurse who worked WITH me and allowed me my space to labor the way I wanted.

Inviting Bethany to be there.

Having Heather there once again.

Not having to labor at the hospital for long. 

The last little bit before he came

Staying in the Valley and awaiting the arrival of Kimber and Lucy were easy, comparatively speaking. My kids were not in school and we were able to pack up and spend a few carefree weeks enjoying a break before the new baby arrived.  This time with much arrangement and help from Aunt Jeanie and a lot of sacrifice on Jared's part, Lucy and I got to have a week all alone while the girls stayed home to attend school.

My girls (even Addie and Kimber) got to the Valley on September 14th and attended Kennedy's baptism.  The next day the big girls traveled home with Aunt Jeanie and Uncle Kenny and Lucy and I stayed behind at my mom's house.  I won't lie, I was sad and wanted to cry when my girls drove away. But Lucy and I quickly busied ourselves with Christmas shopping and playing together that it turned into a really enjoyable week for us.

Like I said, we got about 80% of our Christmas shopping done!  We also played in Grandma's school for hours, played with cousins like Hyde, Sapphire and Cooper and ate lots of shaved ice.  My dad is so fun and would bring me a shaved ice every few nights.  A medium Sugar Free Tiger's Blood.  It would last us at least two days.

Each night we would Facetime the girls and Jared and get an update on the day and things at home.

Jared was such a good sport and got the girls up and ready for school each morning.  We have learned that taking hair out of the equation saves a lot of time in the morning!  Each night he would bathe them and blow dry their hair.  Then in the morning they would comb it out and wear a headband.  As far as my concerns about that- out of sight, out of mind, right?

I did snap a few pictures in the last few weeks.  I thought throughout my whole pregnancy I would take some actual photos with my actual camera but that never happened.  Thank heavens for an iPhone, right?

38 weeks

 39 weeks

Three days before- 

The day before- (NOT a flattering shirt I am wearing!) 

It's a boy

Let's go back to May.  I was due for my 20 week ultrasound and for the first time, I thought I might actually want to know the gender of our baby.  On our drive back from Disneyland I went back and forth and weighed all the pros and cons of knowing.  I'm sure it drove Jared crazy. 

The next morning I had an appointment and knew I would have to let them know my decision but for the life of my could not decide.  I was still debating up until the minute I laid back for the the ultrasound.  I told the tech I wasn't sure and she said she would let me know when she was in that "area" so I could tell her if I wanted to know.  Our little peanut took care of it for me when she placed the wand of my belly and the first thing I saw was this-

That booger was in the breech position and instead of his head we got a nice shot of the "area"she was going to warn me about.

All I could say was "that's a boy, isn't it?"  It was a bittersweet moment.  I had a strong feeling we would have a boy all along but all I could think was "I have to do this again."  Meaning, we should probably try to give him a brother (this is not an official announcement we will go for another!).  What a selfish thing to think, but the morning sickness and all the ailments of pregnancy were so fresh on my mind.

After leaving the Dr.'s office, I decided I would keep my news a secret from everyone, including Jared. Looking back, I'm not sure why, but at the time it seemed appropriate.  I went about my day with the thoughts of change running through my mind and never led on that I had a secret.  Eventually Jared cornered me and asked if I knew.  I danced around it but eventually he got the news out of me.  It took another week or two but he finally talked me into not keeping it a secret anymore.

People were thrilled when they found out we would be adding a boy to our family.  I am ashamed to say I didn't feel the same and all I could respond with is "it'll be a fun change."  Hoping it really would be a fun one.  I had no doubts I would love the little guy but I have been in girl mode for 8 1/2 years so the thought of something new was really different.  We have been a house of pink, dolls, bows and dress ups.  I couldn't imagine blue, trucks, tractors and dirt.  What a shame right?

All of that changed on September 21st when I held him in my arms for the first time.