The next morning I had an appointment and knew I would have to let them know my decision but for the life of my could not decide. I was still debating up until the minute I laid back for the the ultrasound. I told the tech I wasn't sure and she said she would let me know when she was in that "area" so I could tell her if I wanted to know. Our little peanut took care of it for me when she placed the wand of my belly and the first thing I saw was this-
That booger was in the breech position and instead of his head we got a nice shot of the "area"she was going to warn me about.
All I could say was "that's a boy, isn't it?" It was a bittersweet moment. I had a strong feeling we would have a boy all along but all I could think was "I have to do this again." Meaning, we should probably try to give him a brother (this is not an official announcement we will go for another!). What a selfish thing to think, but the morning sickness and all the ailments of pregnancy were so fresh on my mind.
After leaving the Dr.'s office, I decided I would keep my news a secret from everyone, including Jared. Looking back, I'm not sure why, but at the time it seemed appropriate. I went about my day with the thoughts of change running through my mind and never led on that I had a secret. Eventually Jared cornered me and asked if I knew. I danced around it but eventually he got the news out of me. It took another week or two but he finally talked me into not keeping it a secret anymore.
That booger was in the breech position and instead of his head we got a nice shot of the "area"she was going to warn me about.
All I could say was "that's a boy, isn't it?" It was a bittersweet moment. I had a strong feeling we would have a boy all along but all I could think was "I have to do this again." Meaning, we should probably try to give him a brother (this is not an official announcement we will go for another!). What a selfish thing to think, but the morning sickness and all the ailments of pregnancy were so fresh on my mind.
After leaving the Dr.'s office, I decided I would keep my news a secret from everyone, including Jared. Looking back, I'm not sure why, but at the time it seemed appropriate. I went about my day with the thoughts of change running through my mind and never led on that I had a secret. Eventually Jared cornered me and asked if I knew. I danced around it but eventually he got the news out of me. It took another week or two but he finally talked me into not keeping it a secret anymore.
People were thrilled when they found out we would be adding a boy to our family. I am ashamed to say I didn't feel the same and all I could respond with is "it'll be a fun change." Hoping it really would be a fun one. I had no doubts I would love the little guy but I have been in girl mode for 8 1/2 years so the thought of something new was really different. We have been a house of pink, dolls, bows and dress ups. I couldn't imagine blue, trucks, tractors and dirt. What a shame right?
All of that changed on September 21st when I held him in my arms for the first time.
0 comments:
Post a Comment