Future Firsts

Another treasure from the drafts folder.  How fun is this?  I'll have to do it again and get Lucy's list of firsts too.

Addie:

First job-
Secretary at McClaran's

First boy to take you on a date-
Kyson Perry or Davyn McCray

Color of your first prom dress-
Turquoise

First car-

Kimber:

First job-
Secretary

First boy to take you on a date-
Aiden Coor

Color of first prom dress-
Hot pink

First car-

Taking a break from Instagram

I've always treaded lightly when it comes to social media.  I had a Facebook account for a short time but never used it and ended up permanently deleting my account.  I have never missed it!  However, I do have two Instagram accounts; an account where I follow friends and family and they follow me and a private account with one follower, my good friend Raygon, where I post regularly as a way of journaling our family life.  Those pictures are printed into a Chatbook series that we fan through often to reflect on good times and memories.

I've tried to be careful with my usage of Instagram, never checking it too many times in a day or letting it become an addition.  I can't say I was perfect at those things, but I tried!  It is fun to check in on my family to see what's new with them or to see what new adventures my friends were having.  But over time it began to wear on me.  To put it boldly, it left me feeling fat and boring!  Women, even friends and family, were posting just the "right" picture- perfect smile, hair in place, tummy in and face pulled forward so no double chin is visible.  And September must have been the month to be at Disneyland, because oh my!  It seemed like everyone was there!  Everyone but me, that is.

I was beginning to feel like everyone had it better- more time to travel, exercise, hang with friends, go on exciting dates with her husband, be organized, make great meals and treats for their family, etc.  Within minutes of me having this realization I decided I needed to take a hiatus from Instagram and before I knew it the app was gone!

That happened on September 22nd.  I have never decided how long this hiatus would last.  I have considered never going back but I do enjoy the connection with my family.  It could last another week or month or longer.  When I feel like I am ready to face the big bad world of social media, I'll go back.

During this time I've had some realizations that have helped me change how I will handle Instagram when I go back:

• Naturally, people really only post their highlights.  No one wants to share their rock bottom moments with the world, of course.  But I need to take the things that are shared at face value.  Out of thirty pictures taken within a 15 second timeframe, a person is going to chose the very best photo out of the bunch.  I don't blame them, but I have to remember that.

• I am careful who I follow or who follows me, but I am going to reduce it even more.  I think I currently follow two "influencers".  They're actually pretty fun to watch but they are two of the people doing so many of the fun things so often that they'll have to go bye bye.  I am going to unfollow anyone I don't feel makes me life better after seeing their posts.  And I will relinquish their permission to follow me as well.  

• I want to show more of my real life.  No more framing pictures in a way that hides the pile of dirty clothes or dishes.  No more hiding my no makeup face or messy haired kids.  It'll just be us being us. 

• I want to use my account as a platform to share more of my beliefs and my testimony.  I want others to feel uplifted after seeing something I've shared.

• I am who I am and I have to be comfortable with that.  I'm just not the mom who leaves my kids on a regular basis to take exotic vacations alone with my husband or leave for a weekend long girls trip to some fun destination.  I'm not that mom who has a totally fit body and eats salad for every meal.  I don't wear amazing outfits every day.  I'm just me.  I'm overly involved in my kids' lives, I exercise but always in moderation, I eat good but allow myself to enjoy treats, I don't have the best wardrobe but I always dress modestly.  And honestly, those are the things that matter.

Elder Stevenson's talk in General Conference was just perfect for my situation.  He talked about reality vs. what is portrayed on social media.  I loved these words from his talk:

"Many (if not most) of the pictures posted on social media tend to portray life at its very best—often unrealistically. We have all seen beautiful images of home decor, wonderful vacation spots, smiling selfies, elaborate food preparation, and seemingly unattainable body images.

Here, for example, is an image that you might see on someone’s social media account. However, it doesn’t quite capture the full picture of what is actually going on in real life.

Comparing our own seemingly average existence with others’ well-edited, perfectly crafted lives as represented on social media may leave us with feelings of discouragement, envy, and even failure...

With so many appropriate and inspired uses of technology, let us use it to teach, inspire, and lift ourselves and to encourage others to become their finest—rather than to portray our idealized virtual selves. Let us also teach and demonstrate the righteous use of technology to the rising generation and warn against the associated hazards and destructive use of it. Viewing social media through the lens of the gospel can prevent it from becoming a spiritual eclipse in our lives."

He said it perfectly!  And if you want more, watch his address to the women at BYU Women's Conference.

It' s been a breath of fresh air to take the comparison trap out of my life.  I have been better focused on things that matter and overall felt better about myself.  When I do go back I will be armed with new knowledge and ready to try to "teach, inspire, and lift ourselves and to encourage others to become their finest."

At least that is my hope.

Bishop Hatch

Another post dug out from the drafts folder.  I started this on January 28, 2015.

Jared has now been serving as the bishop of our ward for 14 months.  We've been on quite a ride!  I will forever be grateful for the six years he spent as a counselor in the bishopric.  That was a good "warm up" for what we are now experiencing.

There are a few things that have remained the same:

• I still sit alone on Sunday's
• He is still gone every Tuesday and Wednesday night
• Sunday's are still long
• Getting to church is still more difficult than making it through church

And there are a lot of things that have changed:

• We upgraded our cell phone plan to unlimited minutes and texts.  He eats up thousands of minutes every month.
• Yes, he is gone on Tuesday and Wednesday night but he is also gone many other nights as well.
• I've learned that the life of a Bishop's wife can be quite lonely.
• I've also learned that I can do all sorts of difficult things I would have never attempted before (i.e., clean up the blood from a dead dog, take over the outside chores and more)
• We appreciate family time more.
• I'm alone a lot more.

September 26, 2017

As time goes on and Jared still serves as bishop I thought I would add to my list of things that have changed.

• We appreciate our good marriage more than ever
• Although I still do hard things because he isn't around, I have also learned that some things can wait
• Some people really know how to show their appreciation for the sacrifices our family makes
• We've learned to move forward without him when it comes to living everyday life.  I go on vacation alone with the kids, I make decisions that I don't feel he needs to be bothered with, I fix things around the house, etc.
• My concerns and problems actually matter and the concerns and problems that other people have don't outweigh mine, so I need to share them with my husband
• Sadly, we leave him out of most things.  As we fanned through our many Chatbooks the other night he commented that I do a lot without him.  Not just big things, but a lot of little things too. 

We are on the down slide of this and I have to say that a little piece of me is looking forward to having him to ourselves for once in a very long time.  Most of me is sad that it will end.  The blessings have been incredible!  Getting to know people better is so wonderful!  The opportunities that have been given to us have been so tender.  Watching Jared work through the spirit has been so neat- there is no way this calling could be done without the mantle.

Even though this season of our life is very busy and he is gone a lot, I still wouldn't change this opportunity for anything.  I am so thankful for all of the lessons we learned, the love that has grown, how much it's made us grow as people and a couple and mostly, how it has strengthened my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Dad

I found this in my drafts folder from April of 2011. I'm sure I never published it because I meant to add more memories.  Since it's over six years old and I haven't finished it, I think I'll leave it as is and hit publish.


Sunday's do something to me.  They get me thinking about all the blessings I enjoy and the wonderful life I have.  And that's good because sometimes by the time Tuesday rolls around I've already forgotten about it all.

Today I have been thinking of my Dad.  I am so lucky.  I think I have the best Dad ever.  He is wise, he is kind, he is fun, he is gentle, he is patient.  And much more.

If I had to pinpoint some of my favorite memories of my Dad it would be these:

When he would come home from work we would race out to his truck trying to be the first to get our hands on his leftover snacks from the day.  A watered down pop and Zingers, or some type of Hostess snack.

Tickling us with his whiskers.

Sleeping with us outside on the trampoline.  Even though he would go back in the house after we were all asleep.

Drawing spiders and scorpions on our hands during church.

He and my Mom watch a show every night and he will usually eat a bowl of popcorn with Hot Tamales or Good n' Plenty's.  He also loves black licorice.

Somehow he has managed to create an immunity to motion sickness.  He and his brothers go hunting in Alaska every other year and one of them will videotape the trip.  When they get home that brother will make a copy of it for the others.  It's full of bumpy rides, walking through thick brush, basically lots of motion.  To a normal person, like me, it's nauseating and I can't stand to watch it.  But every morning, and I do mean every morning, at about 5:00 you will find him watching a few minutes of an "A Movie".  They've had to start calling them that because their wives are tired of hearing about it.  He watches with a huge smile and I can see it truly makes him happy.

He has more tolerance than any other person I have ever met.  His truck has a strange quirk.  The blinker is constantly ticking like it's on.  No lights blink, you just get the noise.  It's quite an undertaking to get it fixed so for now he just lives with it.  He says if he can hear it then he knows the radio is too quite.  Now that's tolerance!

He is always available when I need advice, a good story or comfort.

When I was 8 months pregnant with Lucy our A/C went out.  It was June and really hot.  It got to 90 degrees in my house and we finally just accepted that we would have to replace our unit.  Instead my Dad {along with my Mom} drove up to my house, crawled into my attic {with his bad back} and got it running again.  Then they turned around and went home. They drove all that way just to help me out.
It's no secret that he live with horrible back pain.  But he always manages to keep a smile on his face and a good attitude.  You know it is a really bad day because you will find him busy serving someone else.  He will usually make bread for a friend or some yummy soup.

He is a great speaker and people always look forward to hearing the cool stories he will tell.

He taught me a very important lessons once.  On our way home from camping one of my brothers was whistling and it was really bugging me.  I kept asking him to stop but just like a little brother, he wouldn't.  I finally complained to my Dad and he said "don't you think that sometimes you do things that drive me crazy?  I never say anything."  I have tried to remember that and tried to show my kids the same patience.

He truly leads by example.

Waking us up in the morning for prayers and scriptures by saying,  "come for pray-ors!"

Women I Pattern Myself After

Jared often teases me that I am a feminist.  I love good women!  I love the power they have, the work they do, their drive, their intentions, I love it all!

As I sat in the temple this morning I thought about some of the good women in my life.  I thought about how they mother their children and the ways I try to pattern my mothering after theirs.  I am lucky enough to have so many wonderful women in my life!  It would be impossible to name every one of them but I thought I should record a few of them anyway.

Gloria Greer-  What a woman!  I had three Young Women presidents during my time in Young Women.  They were all fantastic and exactly what I needed, but overall Gloria's influence still carries on today.  Gloria was about 55 years old when my dad (who was the bishop at the time) called her to be the Young Women president.  That is no easy feat for a woman of any age, let alone her's!  I remember my dad telling me that when he called her she said she felt too old but agreed to do it on one condition- that her daughter Tammy be her first counselor.  What a powerful pair!

If I can say one thing about Gloria it's that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she loved me.  She showed it in the big and little ways.  She was a mother and grandmother to all of us girls.  She took care of our every need and did things to reach out that normal leaders may not think of.  When it was my birthday she went all out!  I didn't get a small generic gift that was given to every girl.  No, I got a large gift bag full to the brim with thoughtful gifts and trinkets (all from Walgreens, I am sure!  That is her favorite store!).  And when I graduated from High School she again gifted me.  I still have a photo album she gave me from that.

The most important gift she gave me was the white envelope used for my Temple clothes.  I adore that little thing.  It doesn't shut well and and it's a little too big for my clothes to lay nicely, but I just can't part with it.  Every time I hold it I feel I have a a little piece of Gloria with me.

Erin- Man, I love this girl!  Erin moved in down the street from me about eight years ago.  I tried to reach out and become her friend but it took a few years to get there.  I am sure it was divine intervention that led us to serve on the school PTSO together.  That experience drew us together and bonded us.  Erin is an exceptional mother.  She gives 110% to her two girls.  She is so kind, she intently listens to their every word, she is so patient with them, she cares from places in the heart that I didn't know existed.  Erin had a traumatic childhood and she makes up for it in her girls.  I admire her in every way.

Tara- My sister in law Tara is so great.  Her kids are older than mine so I watched her raise them.  I admired so much of what she did that I patterned much of my mothering after her.  I remember when Addie was still an infant and I confessed to Tara that I didn't know how clothing sizes worked for toddlers and youth.  As we sat in the parking lot of Old Navy she broke the whole thing down for me.  I see so much of myself in her and hope I can set a good example for one of my sisters or sisters in law.

Briana- Another sister in law!  Briana has so many admirable qualities.  With a houseful of kids and people going so many different directions, she never seems to let it wear on her (although I'm sure it does.).  She always has and makes time for herself and fun things and projects.  She never seems flustered with her kids when there is crying and messes.  I've tried to adopt her "let it go" attitude.  It's hard for me, but watching her do it so well gives me hope that I'll get there someday.

My own mom- I once saw a quote on Pinterest that said, "Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out."  Man, that couldn't be more true for me!  Without intentionally copycatting her, I find myself turning into my mom more and more everyday.  The thing I hope to copy the most is being a friend to my kids.  My mom was always a true friend to me growing up- especially  in my teenage years.  When I was in Nauvoo she would send me cards multiple times a week.  They were usually funny and just to say she was thinking of me.  I still have every one of those cards.  She was (and still is!) so good about giving you her full attention anytime you ask for a moment of her time.  She laughs with you, she remembers important things and she is all in when you need her.

Although I adore each of these women, I have to remind myself that I don't have to be exactly like any one of them.  I just need to combine the best qualities from each of them and be the best version of myself I can be.

Changing Looks

The other night Addie asked me if I ever think about what Colton will look like when he goes on a mission.  Only everyday!  The same goes for my girls. Change happens slowly when you see it everyday so I thought it would be fun to do a comparison of my kids when they were newborns, toddlers and what they look like now.

Addie

Kimber

Lucy

Colton

Microblading

I recently had my eyebrows microbladed and experienced a lot of things I wish I had known beforehand.  For fun, I thought I would share my experience and the things I wish I would have known.

First of all, I lucked out and found a gal who knows brows!  Just because someone has been "trained" or "certified" does not make them good at their job!  Most girls will have an Instagram or Facebook page featuring their work. I followed Cordae's work for quite a while. I studied her pictures and examined the different styles of brows.

It's also very important to talk!  Ask around, talk to multiple people who can share their experience with the person you are considering.   And ask lots of questions. Ask things like: how much time they spent consulting, if they make suggestions and have ideas, how long the whole procedure will take, etc. Now that I'm past the procedure and have learned a few things, I would say the most important thing to ask is if they use the soft tap method. Basically, this involved breaking the skin (which hurts, burn it's quick and worth it!) so that when the numbing cream is applied it can get under the skin. Not everyone uses this technique but I would HIGHLY recommend finding someone who does.

Next, I would suggest arriving with your eyebrows filled in so the technician can have an idea of your style. (Unless you are looking for something totally different from your normal style.)  I showed up looking like do everyday and expressed my desire to keep it simple and natural. Cordae knew just what I wanted and was able to improve on it.

The actual procedure itself is painless if soft tapping is used. Once the numbing agent begins to wear off, you begin to feel it but it's not bad. It feels like paper cuts- not terribly painful, mostly uncomfortable.  And, no blood is involved.  It sounded to me like hairs being quickly plucked out in big chunks. A funny way to explain it, I know!

The actual microblading procedure took about one hour. Each brow is gone over about three or four times and pigment is rubbed over the whole brow after each pass.

Once you're finished and the technician hands you the mirror, remind yourself that things are going to appear much more dramatic than what the final look will be!  I almost fell over because my brows were so dark and bold.

Another bit of advice would be to schedule your appointment about five days before you have to be anywhere ;) I did mine on a Saturday and had to be somewhere immediately after I was done. I had to convince myself to keep that appointment but wanted to cry because I was so embarrassed. I wondered what I had done!  Later in the evening they were quite sensitive to touch.  I spent time in the bathroom that night trying to figure out how I could lighten them up and tone them down.

The next day I wore my glasses to church in hopes that they would help camouflage my brows. It helped but they were still thick and dark.

It was the same story on Monday.

By Tuesday I began to notice the lightening up a bit. However scabs were forming so they continued to look very full- almost bushy.

Wednesday was the turning point. It was the peak for scabbing so I gently brushed a spooli through them to remove any loose scabs. This seemed to help a lot!  The skin was quite red but my brows were much lighter by this time.  The scabs were falling off as well so I was able to get a good idea of the final look. Because the scabs were flaking off they were rather itchy. Instead of vigorously running my nails through them, which is forbidden, I would firmly press my nails into the itchy area and that would relieve the sensation.

I continued to see progress on Thursday.

It has now been six days. One more until I can get them wet (okay, I cheated and washed them tonight. I figured it was only 12 hours early!) and I don't have to baby them so much.  I'll go for a touchup in a few weeks. Overall I'm thrilled will them and am happy I did it.

For some reason my brows look uneven in all pictures!  I promise they are the same shape in person  :)