I wrote an essay about my experience with morning sickness for Power of Mom's and how I tried to get through it. It's never easy, although I will say as bad as I felt, I felt better than I ever did with my girls. Maybe there is something about having a boy that makes a difference.
Living for Wednesday
I’m just coming off of a stint with morning (read: all day) sickness. It’s typical for me to feel ill, tired, nauseous and have no appetite in the early stages of pregnancy and truthfully it was quite discouraging to plan this pregnancy knowing what was in store for me. But after a conversation on the matter with a good friend, she gave me the encouragement I needed and my husband and I decided it was time to grow our family, but this time I would have a changed attitude and things would be much better!
Or so I thought.
Within the year we got the news that our family would be growing and I was determined I would not let myself succumb to the long days of feeling ill and worn down. I knew it would come, but I was not about to let it get the best of me. Knowing I was living on borrowed time, I took the advice of my friend and stocked my freezer with everything from lasagna and enchiladas to cookies and brownies for the kids’ lunches before the sickness began.
And then it started settling in. You know the feeling. Nausea. Food aversions. Tired beyond explanation. Thankfully for me vomiting is not in my gene make up, although there are times when I swore it would make me feel better, at least for a moment.
The days started getting longer and suddenly I felt like I was living a real-life version of the movie Groundhog Day. I tried to break it up. I tried getting creative and going somewhere new. I tried wearing a new outfit. I tried taking a pretty drive. But nothing changed. I was in a funk.
And for some reason that funk really reared it ugly head every Tuesday. Tuesday’s were especially bad for some strange reason. After a few of those I decided I was going to do everything I could to make the next one better! I woke up the next Tuesday morning with a new attitude and arsenal of ideas to make things better. I happily got up, showered and dressed in a great outfit. Nothing, still sick. I hit Subway with my youngest daughter. Nothing, still sick. I even treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. Still, I wanted nothing more than to go home and lie down.
I had tried so hard! Why wasn’t I feeling any better? Then it hit me. If Tuesday is going to be so bad, then I need to live for Wednesday because it can’t possibly top Tuesday!
And that’s just what I did. I still tried to stay positive and motivated but in the back of my mind I kept telling myself, “tomorrow is Wednesday!” Before I knew it Wednesday was here and I miraculously felt a little better.
Within a matter of a few months the sickness was gone and I am now enjoying my pregnancy, but it was a serious lesson to me that hard days (or weeks, or months or for some, years) will come and one of the ways we can get through them is to look for a bright tomorrow.
As moms we have hard days. Some one is sick (possibly long-term), jobs are lost, days are long, money is tight, messes are made, things don’t go as planned. But there is a bright tomorrow. Maybe it’s not a literal tomorrow but there is an ending to the difficulties somewhere in your future.
While going through it I had to remind myself that my body is working hard for a good cause; it’s growing a human being for crying out loud! And so are you! It’s difficult, we want to lie down, we try new things, we get out but nothing changes. Remember, you are growing a human being- you!
With that growth comes pain, heartache, trails, long days, a real-life Groundhog Day effect and more. But look to the future when those things happen. Remind yourself that this can not last forever and that once it has passed you will be rewarded; be it a sweet baby held in your arms or new-found wisdom, patience, or appreciation for the good things in your life.
Question: Do you ever feel like your days blend together because of the difficulties of motherhood or your current life situation?
Challenge: Look for the good in your present situation and if you find that difficult, challenge yourself to look to the future. What is your “Wednesday”?
I've been able to enjoy the second and third trimesters that have both come with a wonderful burst of nesting energy and have been so grateful to feel good. I haven't swelled up like I did with Lucy and can still wear my wedding ring, putting it on and taking it off with ease for the most part. Yay! The only ailment I've dealt with is sciatica, which in my opinion, outdoes any other pregnancy ailment I've ever had. It started in my left hip and grew increasingly worse and more painful over a period of a few weeks until it peaked. It caused me to limp, although I tried to never do that in public so I didn't drag attention to myself. It also caused me to get short and snappy with my girls because a sudden twist or step in the wrong direction would send a screaming jolt of pain down my leg. Getting up and down from the toilet, standing at the sink to do dishes, sitting for any length of time, applying heat, taking long strides and much more all caused it to hurt.
I was finally able to see a lady for some reflexology on Monday, the 22nd of July and as I walked out of her house I felt worse than when I entered. The following two days were miserable and by Wednesday night I was in tears. Jared was gone to the church and I was struggling to get my girls settled down and into bed. I didn't make them brush their teeth or wear pajamas and stood while we prayed. But a slow miracle began happening, over the next 10 days it got a little better each day. I am now fine with only a very faint amount of pain left and I couldn't be more thankful. My heart truly hurts for those who live with sciatica on a daily basis or for years at a time.
Since I have felt so good I have let myself slack and not visit the Dr. He's three hours away, I feel good, the baby moves and my tummy is growing so why bother, right? Well, Jared finally talked me into heading to the Valley for a visit. The Dr. rebuked me for letting three months pass between visits and upon measuring me found I only measure 29-30 weeks, rather than 33. I have also only gained 12 pounds, which is just slightly under the recommended weight gain. I ended up having an ultrasound for some peace of mind and sure enough, our little guy is growing right on schedule, just two days behind. He also weighs about 4lbs 4 ozs.
Now for your viewing pleasure, here are some shots of me and my belly, including a few paparazzi-like ones. Awesome, right?
About 20 weeks-
21-22 weeks
31-ish weeks
With pregnancy comes the unwanted opinion and remarks from others. I've heard I look like I swallowed a basketball, to which I replied that's better than swallowing a football. One very opinionated grandma in my ward told Jared I look like an alien. Another person said I looked a lot more pregnant than 30 weeks. And yesterday I had this conversation with a Brother in my ward while I was standing at the door greeting Primary children.
In his usual cheerful voice he said "Hi! How are you!?"
I replied, "Really good!"
His response, "you look miserable!"
I knew better so all I could say was "That is one thing you should never say to a pregnant woman, Norman."
He was shocked at my response but I hope it helps him think his remarks through in the future.
I feel perfectly fine and like I look just right for being 33 weeks so I've decided that I will no longer accept the opinions of old women or any man. Either they have forgotten what it's like for your tummy to expand at such a fast rate or they have never experienced it and should keep quiet! Maybe I'll write a book on the do's and don'ts of conversing with a pregnant lady.
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