A little threat goes a long way

Since we moved into this house 5 years ago we've been with Dish Network. It's been fine but lately I've decided that we needed a DVR receiver. I rarely watch any TV during the day but when I sit down to fold clothes I want to watch something other than Hannah Montana or The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. And since Jared gets to watch TV once every couple of weeks I wanted him to see something he actually enjoys. Well, I have contacted Dish Network twice asking them if they have any promotions where I could get a DVR for little or nothing. Both times I was told they had a great deal, just $150! Woo. So then I contacted Direct TV and I could get the darn receiver free. Finally today I decided I was just going to end my service with them and get a free DVR from Direct TV. So I call them up and here is the conversation.

Me: Hi, I am wanting to end my service.

Hard to understand man: Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Can I ask why?

Me: Well, I want a DVR receiver and you guys don't want to keep me bad enough to give me one for free. You think $150 is a good deal.

Hard to understand man: Let me look at your account. You've been a loyal customer for five years. We hate to see you go. Let me see what there is. Please hold...annoying hold music (but not as annoying as the hold music I used to have to make people listen to at Anasazi. No offense to my Anasazi Friends, but I truly had people say "no, please don't make me hold. I hate that flute!"..... okay, you can get a free DVR receiver and it will only cost you an additional $2.00 a month.

Me: No seriously, how much is it going to cost me?

Hard to understand man: Nothing mam. The receiver is free an the service, which is normally $5.98 a month will cost you $2.00 for the next 24 months.

Me: You swear?

Hard to understand man: Yes. We can set up an installation date right now.

Me: You mean it will cost me nothing, not now, not ever?

Hard to understand man: Yes mam.

What the heck miracle happened? Why couldn't they just have good customer service in the first place instead of making me jump through hoops? I hate that.