On Saturday I did my first photo shoot.  This beautiful gal was the epitome of photogenic and so fun to work with.

I'm a list kind of person.  On days that I don't make a To Do List I feel like nothing gets done and that it was an unproductive day.  I just wish my list ended here everyday.  Unfortunately I had to add lots more.

Must haves for changing the diaper of a child that doesn't belong to you: diaper, wipes, plastic bag and most important, mega strong room spray.  A mask and gloves would have been nice.

Addie gave me an early birthday present today.  She was so excited!  After giving it to me she told me that she doesn't like milk so she didn't need it.  It's the thought that counts.

It won't be long now and she'll be off walking.

1 and 2 and 3 and...

The fireplace has been a favorite place to play for each of my girls but Lucy has been using it more as a place of exercise lately.  This is her new favorite position.

I Am

It seems like I am always struggling with something.  Sometimes it's rather petty and I overcome it quickly, but my latest struggle has had me thinking a lot.  I've been feeling like such an inadequate mother.  I feel like I never get enough done, I feel like there are so many things I wish I would do, lots of things I wish I didn't do and moments when I think my kids bring out the worst in me.

It's been a trying couple of weeks as I have struggled to remind myself that this is only a fleeting feeling and that I'll feel better soon.  I take my job as a mom so deathly serious that it eats at me that I feel I'm not doing that great of a job.

But I got a little boost yesterday.  I attended a Relief Society Seminar yesterday where the keynote speaker was Carol Soelberg, Arizona Mother of the Year.  It wasn't her title that got me, but it was the way I walked away feeling a little more empowered and ready to get back to my kids and try again.

The theme for the seminar was "A Lioness at the Gate."  Carol had a number of pictures of lionesses in different situations, from defending her cubs to gently bathing them.  I'm not one of those people who oohs and ahhs over cutesy animal pictures, but to see a mother in action is very touching.

I really don't remember much of what was said but seeing that lioness act so strong and so gentle at the same time, I realized that a mom is just that.  You have to find a balance between being strong and trying to instill good values and yet be gentle enough that your kids feel safe with you.

On that note I have to thank my mom.  She's strong.  She always stands for what is right, no matter what others may think of her.  And she gentle.  I know that if I picked up the phone right now to call her and said "Mom, I need a minute," that she would drop everything and find a quiet place in the house where she could hear me out.  I know that because I've done it many times.  I always know that I can ask my mom anything.  And I do mean anything.

I remember when I was a Senior in High School, my good friend thought she might be pregnant and was telling me some of the signs she was experiencing.  They were pretty "girlie," if you know what I mean, and most people would have been embarrassed to ask their mom.  I told her that I knew I could talk to my mom and that she would know.  It was in Yearbook so the atmosphere was very casual.  We went to our teachers phone and I called home.  Sure enough my Mom had all the answers and my friend was hear my mom was sure she wasn't pregnant.

Mom, thank you for the stubbornness you instilled in me.  Than you for the love of family.  Thank you for showing me that I am a wife before anything else and that my marriage is the most important relationship I will ever have.  Thank you for teaching me how to take care of kids at an early age.  Thank you for showing me that my home is what I make it.  Thank you for showing me that it is important to take time for myself.  Thank you for teaching me that it is important to find a hobby or something that I enjoy so that I can continue to learn.

You deserve the Mother of the Year Award.