I've spent the last six weeks learning many humbling lessons. What I thought was allergies turned into a sinus infection, then that became a cold which later became a hacking cough and eventually Walking Pneumonia. And that pneumonia came with other issues, bruised ribs and Tietze Syndrome. Once I had a handle on those and thought I was out of the woods, I was hit again, this time by strep throat.
I'll spare you the details of how everything progressed and changed, but what I do want to document is what I learned.
*It's okay to be sick. I felt terrible but kept telling myself I wasn't that bad. Jared kept telling me to go to the Dr. but I refused. I knew that they wouldn't be able to help me because, I wasn't that sick. On the 29th of April, I learned how sick I actually was, but still had a hard time accepting it. Jared came home to grab something for work and asked me how I was feeling. I normally keep my composure pretty well but I broke down crying telling him how miserable I felt. I had a short cry then pulled it together again and told him to go back to work; I would be fine and life goes on. Which leads me to my next point...
*Sometimes other people know how to help you better than you know how to help yourself. I should have listened to Jared when he first told me to get help. Ultimately, he had to force to me to go to the Dr. He returned to work and a few hours later, called and told me he would be there in an hour, then we would be heading to Urgent Care. I went, but I was very reluctant. When the Dr. said Walking Pneumonia, I was so thankful Jared had made me go. If I had waited another day or two, I would have likely been admitted into the hospital.
*It's okay to let others see you at your worst. Since I had been feeling so lousy, my house was paying a price. When Jeanie learned we were going to the Dr., she quickly stepped up and took over things at home. I wanted to crawl under a rock when she did my dishes, washed and folded the laundry and cleaned the house. She is such an immaculate person, and my house looked like, well, the lady in charge was out of commission. But, I could see a physical change in her. Her service actually brightened her countenance and put some pep in her step. Speaking of that...
*People want to help. I tried to keep things under wraps but Jared didn't mind telling people. At first I felt embarrassed but later saw that people were anxious to do what they could. Mindy picked up Kimber, people were understanding when i couldn't do things or be places, friends offered to get groceries, one friend brought flowers, my sisters sent flowers, and so so so much more.
*Food from other people is a burden lifted. I've had people bring in meals after I have a baby and I always felt a little silly for accepting it. There wasn't anything wrong with me, I'd only had a baby! But, now I get it! I had a few friends tell me (not ask!!) they were bringing dinner. It was such a relief when evening rolled around and dinner was taken care of. When I had strep last week, one friend who had already brought dinner the week before, called and said she was bringing dinner again. I didn't even fight it, I just said okay. I had learned my lesson! Plus, I was feeling miserable.
*It's okay to spend money on frivolous things if it helps you out. I paid someone to come clean my house while I laid on the couch and coughed. I didn't feel bad about hiring someone and I didn't feel bad about laying down while she cleaned. It helped me out and lifted a weight off my shoulders.
*People are understanding. I was throwing a party last Thursday night, the same day I was laid up with strep. I was so happy that people were willing to bend so we could rearrange it. Every person I spoke told me that it was fine and just to take care of myself.
*I can pray about anything. This sounds so elementary, but it's one of the best things I learned. Sometimes when I am struggling with something, I push it aside and don't put much prayer into it because I feel it takes away from the more difficult struggles other people have. I know my trials aren't nearly as severe as the trials of other people, so I used to feel like I didn't have the right to pray for something that was so piddly. I know Heavenly Father cares about every aspect of my life, but so many struggle with things way worse than I can ever image, so I took my trials in stride and tried to deal with them on my own. I finally realized that I have to tell Him. I prayed about my back, I prayed about my cough, I prayed about everything. And He answered so many of my prayers....
*He answers those prayers. Of course I have always known that He answers my prayers, but I prayed about some very small things. And He answered them! I asked Jared to take me back to Urgent Care one Sunday evening. I wasn't improving and was absolutely miserable. I just knew they were going to tell me they had done everything they could ao I would need to head to the ER. I couldn't afford time away for hospital stay! I prayed so hard. And He answered my prayers. I left Urgent Care with a number of new prescriptions, an x-ray and a shot in my booty, not instructions to go to the hospital. Then when I realized I had strep and needed to get to the Dr., I instantly got concerned. I've had a terrible time getting into our family doctor lately and last time I tried to get into the town walk in clinic, they weren't accepting our insurance. I prayed that night, through the night and in the morning that something would work out and I would be able to be seen immediately. At 8 am, I called my dr and had no luck. I then tried the walk in clinic and to my surprise, they had started accepting our health insurance. And my co-pay would be the same as going to my primary care physician! A true answer to my prayers.
*I had priorities that weren't very worthwhile priorities. Checking out means very little gets accomplished, which also means only the very very important things gets attention. I still woke my kids up in time to pray and read scriptures together, I brushed my teeth, I fed my kids, I read my scriptures, I tried to show them as much love and affection as possible, I prayed with them and tucked them in at night and said my own personal prayers. I'm not sure it matters if anything else in the day gets done. Since then, I've turned down some offers to do certain things, some of which would take a considerable amount of my time and energy. I don't feel like those things fit onto my shortened priority list.
*I will be more alert to people who don't seem well. I think I hid my illness pretty well, but when people heard from Jared that I was sick, some of them showed true concern and compassion. Others brushed it off and had to tell me about similar illnesses they'd had. I'm not sharing this because I felt I didn't get attention, but because it taught me that I need to be more compassionate to people in their circumstances. People are experiencing all kinds of trials, slow down and see what you can do to help them out. When Addie came down with a 72-hour flu over the weekend, I was as compassionate as I could possibly be. I had just been in her shoes and knew the misery.
*I am thankful for my trials. I have never been the kind of person who felt like I was thankful for hardship. I handle my trials but don't feel thankful for them. They are hard and painful! But, these experiences have changed me. It was very hard and very painful, literally, but I learned so much about myself and my Savior, that I am grateful!
*Don't take your health, abilities or family for granted. When you go for a period of time without being sick, you go through the motions of the day without any thought of the you might not always be able to do those day-to-day tasks. (Man! I sound like I lost a limb!). My point is, I have a great life and this reminded me of that!
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