Poker Chips

It seems like lately my patience has been tested over and over again.  My sweet Addie loves a good debate, or so it seems.  Anytime I ask her to do something it instantly strikes up an argument while she tries to justify herself.  And Kimber.  That sweet girl.  All I have to say is "Kimber, will you..." and suddenly her knees buckle, she drops to the floor and her body goes into convulsions while she wails.  And let's not leave Lucy out.  I love that baby (I know, she isn't really a baby anymore) but sometimes it seems like she is learning from her sisters' behavior and follows precisely in their footsteps.

After a long weekend while Jared was away, I had had enough!  I was feeling like I was being shown no respect as their mother and like I was a total mute.  I knew words were coming out of my mouth but nobody could hear me.  It was the oddest thing. 

Jared got home late on Saturday night but that didn't stop me from unloading on him and finally telling him that I felt that at this point it was his turn to talk to the girls about their disrespect.  He agrees and decided he would tackle it during Family Home Evening. 

Monday night rolled around and Jared talked to the girls about what was going on.  They admitted that they did ignore me at time and didn't talk to their mom quite the way they should.  Then it was like a lightbulb went on in my head and I had an idea.  I explained everything to the girls and the next morning we began our new system.  Here's how it works.

I watch the girls throughout the day looking for outstanding behavior, whether it be they listen the first time, they eat dinner extra well, they do something without being told, etc, and I reward them with a poker chip.  If I catch them doing something they shouldn't be doing they loose a chip and I place it in the Mom and Dad jar.

I believe that when you are part of a family everyone has responsibilities that helps a household run so I don't reward them for every little thing but for things that I know is individually outstanding for them.  For example, Kimber hates getting her hair done and cries and complains when I tell her it's time.  For the last few days she has handled it very well so I rewarded her with a token.  On the other hand, Addie was again given the Citizenship Award at school yesterday.  An award that takes a lot of work and dedication so she was given a chip for that. 

Each chip is equal to one quarter and at the end of a certain period of time they can cash in their chips and do whatever they please with their money.  As of right now Addie has 8 tokens, Kimber has 7 and Jared and I have 4.  Today is the day they are cashing in and they have been talking about all kinds of things they can do with their quarters.  They talked about combing them and buying a pizza (yuck!) if they can earn just a few more, going to Dairy Queen, or going to the dollar store.

I have been pleasantly surprised at how well this has worked.  Things have been so peaceful and chores seem to get done with little effort on my part.  Don't get me wrong, my girls are super sweet and not always total beasts, but they are, well, kids and I will do everything in my power to make our home a peaceful place for everyone.  Even if it involves poker chips.